The Driven Machine by TBA

- The Driven Machine -
Bleeding
I started to bleed yesterday.
It's not a lot - you can barely tell, but it's something that they're going to notice eventually, and then - well, nobody really knows. All those who've bled before aren't allowed to talk about what happened to them after they entered the Driver's Construct. And they fear the Driver enough to follow that rule. I would too.
I'm getting ahead of myself, I should probably explain more. Okay, here goes. My name is Suil, and if the Driver or any of his men ever found this little record, then I'd be dead. But I'm going to be dead because of something sooner or later, so I might as well do something I think is worthwhile. After all, nobody survives for long in the employ of the Driver.
Back to what I was saying - I started to bleed the other day, which could only mean one thing. We were nearing another world, and soon the Driver would whip us into a frenzy getting his machine exactly the way he wanted it. All the bleeders would be rounded up, and we wouldn't see them again until the Driver had got what he wanted from the world and moved on.
I didn't like the fact that I was one of those bleeders this time. Of course, it wasn't as though I could do anything about it. So I did what all the bleeders have done in the past - I went to see the doctor.
Doctor Ow's been a friend of mine for a long time. I suppose he's a friend of all the workers here. With all the people that get injured by the Machine, anyone he gets the time to save is always grateful. He's saved me more than once. That damned machine, I've worked it for as long as I can remember, and I still don't know how it runs, or how the Driver controls it. All I know is, I haven't had a moment's peace since it was started up a week ago. It's the most frightening thing, too - I've never been used to it. It takes up a whole block in our habitat - this ugly, grey machine towering above us all. Once it's fired up, nobody can even sleep - the noise is too much. No matter how far away from it you go, you hear it. You even hear the scratching and tearing of the machine when you close your ears. It's hard to breathe - the thing ejects some kind of dark gas that makes it even hard to think. But the Driver tells us to make it run, so we do. It needs constant looking after, because even though it's just a pile of metal and Power, it's got an evil spirit. Doc Ow tells me that the machine existed before the Driver, and is even more powerful than Driver's kind. We're used to control it. I'm not sure how that works, since even the weakest of Driver's men can kill us with little more than a gesture of their weapons. But I believe Doc - he's the smartest one of us. Otherwise he wouldn't be the doctor.
He's perceptive too. I walked into the infirmary with all the other patients, some of them looking pretty bad, and he spotted me. He motioned me back to his office, and I followed. Felt pretty bad about it, too - I mean, he ignored all those other people. Even the ones who were bleeding - no, bleeding the other way, they were hurt. Not like me.
"How long have you shown color like this?" Doc asked. He's always so darn technical. So I told him - just the other day. He could tell?
"Of course I can tell. You're lucky you weren't picked up by one of the guards on the way here!" The doctor went over to his cabinet - to look for some pills, I would guess. I never know why he does anything. Then he looked back at me. "There's something I can do for you Suil, but I need to tell you a few things first. It's about the bleeders. Look close at me, and you'll see.
I could see what doc wanted me to without having to look closer. He was bleeding too - or 'showing color', as he liked to put it. I could see just a little hue to his skin, a hint of green in his eyes. Of course, the majority of him was grey just like all the normal non-bleeders, but the color was starting to show. Every time we "bled", we began to see and show in color. We're grey, and we can only see grey - I don't know if the Driver's men know that. They can see color, so they can tell if we're showing or not. We can't tell unless it's happening to us. I usually figure it out - the bleeders end up vanishing about a week or so after the machine starts up. I never thought I'd be one of them.
Satisfied that I'd seen what he wanted me to, he opened the door to one of the operating theaters. "I only need one of these, since I'm the only doctor. You're going to be staying in this here."
What was he talking about? I asked him as much - did he expect me to try to run from the Driver? It made me feel sick to even contemplate something like that.
The Doctor turned back to me. "Yes, I do expect you to do that. Suil, listen to me. It's only a matter of time until he kills you anyway. Him or one of his men, or that machine. I can save you from that machine, I've done it before, but I don't even know how the weapons of his men work. You're going to be safe from the men. You see," Ow smiled, "every time that we've neared another world - every single time - I've bled. The Driver doesn't even bother with me anymore. He's convinced I'm one of those rare souls that has a host in every world. That's why we bleed, you know - there's someone like you in that world we're heading toward. There's someone like me, too. Except this time, instead of using you to get what he wants, I'm going to use you to make sure he doesn't get it."
If what I just wrote makes little sense, I assure you that I was at least twice as confused. I asked the doctor to explain it again - I didn't really understand, at least not then, what it was that the Driver wanted. So the doctor, patient man that he is, sat me down and told me once more.
"Okay, here goes. The Driver uses that machine of his to bring us close to other worlds. He does this so he can take things from them. I don't know what it is he wants, only he has to use us to control the machine. In some of these worlds, there is a person who is like you. When we get close to those worlds, some of it starts to bleed through to here. Those who are like the people of the other worlds - those who have 'hosts', as I like to say, start to show color. The Driver singles these people out, because he can use them to get what he wants from the other worlds."
I didn't like the sound of this. And I was one of these people! I had a 'host' in the other world, wherever it was we were heading toward. I knew the good doctor wanted to keep me safe, but the Driver would find him, and me, and we would die. But I'd said it before: I'm going to die anyway. I might as well do something worthwhile.
So the doctor put me up in the unused operating room. He even encouraged me to keep a journal of what was happening to me. That's this. I'm bleeing worse now - I look down at myself and I'm almost all color. So is doc, but - true to his word - none of the Driver's men have come in. I'm very, very disturbed at this. Doctor Ow said that the Driver would use me to get to the other world. But the doc said that he was going to use me himself to stop the Driver. I don't like it. I'm shivering - it's cold, and I'm very nervous. Ow said that soon I might see glimpses of the other world.
I wonder who my host is.

To : Sarah Beth Richards
Subject : class

Hi Sarah! It's me, Alex, from calc class. I just thought i'd write
to say

To say what?

to say hello again :)

Brilliance. I'd never top that. Unless, of course, I actually came up with something that sounded remotely interesting! Why did I do this? I mean, it wasn't as though I thought she'd actually give me her address when I asked for it. But she did, and here I am now, stuck with writing an e-mail to someone I hardly know. I'm bad at writing e-mails, and I'm even worse at sending them to people whose names I barely know.
Okay, so her name's Sarah. I just had to look up at the address. It doesn't count. At any rate, it's not as though I don't want to write her, it's just that I know I'll botch the job, and she'll never speak to me again. Quite simple, really. But I guess I've got to write something, so here goes.

It's nice to meet someone in calculus that can help me out - I just hope I don't
end up bothering you for help too much!

Great, now she's going to think I'm a moron who can't understand calculus. That's not going to work. Of course, there's the fact that I am a moron who can't understand calculus, but that's beside the point. I'm really beginning to re-think my decision to become a math major. Everything in high school seemed so easy! This new stuff isn't quite so.

Anyway, I guess I'll end up seeing you on Wednesday, unless you'd like to meet
to study for the quiz before then

Please want to meet to study for the quiz.

See you then!

Always,

-Alex

I'm going to send this off before I can think about how horrible it sounds. That way I won't try to make it better, which can only make a letter even worse. Having accomplished the one important thing I had to accomplish today, I'm free to put off the other things (homework) until later tonight. I think I'll spend some time reflecting upon my letter.
Oh man, she's never going to speak to me again. She'll take one look at it and say "Wow, this man couldn't e-mail his way out of a paper sack." Or something. I'm not very good at english either, okay?
There go my hopes of passing this class, I guess. Maybe she'll still tutor me, if I'm lucky. She knows the material, that's for sure. She doesn't even have to listen to the lectures - she just shows up, draws in her tablet during class, and somehow manages to get perfect scores on every quiz and exam handed out to us.
Those drawings - now that's what got my attention. She's a Mechanical Engineering major, she told me today. She likes to design things in her spare time. I told you she was smart. Some of those things she was drawing though, they were downright strange. And the spookiest thing about them was that they were familiar to me. I knew I'd seen them somewhere before.
My dreams, I think. For about a week now, they'd been getting a little strange. Not major things, just little dreams that I couldn't remember when I woke up. Then just yesterday I had this one where I was in some operating room, and there was this bizzare creature there with me. The creature took me out and showed me around - they lived in some kind of dome with this tall metal tower in the middle. It looked like it was a giant engine to a car or something - all gears and oil and exhaust. I think the guy was trying to tell me something, but I woke up before I could figure it out.
I told my roomate about the dream; he suggested that I'd been kidnapped by aliens. He then made some comments that I choose not to reproduce here. I didn't find them as funny as he apparently did.
So when I think about it, I think some of the things that Sarah was drawing were things I saw in my dream. One of the bridges, for example. I was a little creeped out at first - I mean, this would mean we were having the same dream, right? Well, not really. She had probably started drawing them a while back, and I had managed to integrate it into my dreams. Makes sense. Still, just a little bit creepy.
Oh no.
That was entirely too fast for her to have read my e-mail, and then written back. I'm going to get all nervous again - how could she have replied to my letter so quickly? How long have I been sitting here thinking, anyway? Oh. So maybe it wasn't such a fast reply after all. I must have dozed off. Well, time to find out exactly how bad a letter writer I am. Here goes.

From : Sarah Beth Richards
Subject: A quiz?!

Hello Alex! It's good to hear from you - to tell you the truth, I wasn't sure
that I was going to get a letter. I'm glad I did :)
Don't worry about asking me for help. I've got this all memorized. I know it
like the back of my hand. Hey, when did I get this mole? Okay, bad example.
And thank you very much for reminding me about the quiz! I was all ready to
sit back and have a nice, quiet Monday evening, and plan for a second nice,
quiet Tuesday evening, when you had to remind me about a quiz. Now you will
pay!
I'm kidding. Sure, I'd love to study for the quiz with you. Union food court
sound good? Write me back, I'm going to be trying to hammer this computer into
submission for another few hours in order to get it to accept my project for
another class, so I'm not going anywhere for a while.

*bangs on her monitor* Work! I command you!

:) Sarah.

I must have spent about ten minutes just staring blankly at the screen. I mean - she wrote me back! She's speaking to me! Not only that, but she didn't even seem to notice my rather -- lacking is too kind a term, I'll just use 'akward' -- writing style. All right!
I feel sorely tempted to do a victory dance. But my roomate already thinks I'm crazy enough - what with the aliens and all.
Okay, I've got to compose this in my mind. I have to write something coherent, I -- --

"Suil, you need to calm down. The Driver won't find you here, even if you wander from this place. I've got him believing that I'm conducting experiments with our people. Which, I suppose, I am."
The Creature - Doctor? - looks oddly at me.
"Suil, are you feeling well?" What the hell is happening here?
Doctor nods. "Alex again, am I correct?
I nod.
"You understand me?"
I nod again.
"That's good. Now try, I know it didn't work before, but you have to try. Tell me what's happening where you are."
I open my mouth, but only gibberish comes out.

"Man, what the hell is wrong with you?"
It's my roomate, Dan. He asks a good, valid question. I just don't know the answer any more than he does. I must have fallen asleep at my keyboard, because now I'm on the floor and some bizzare dream is running through my head. I get up, though slowly, because I feel a bit dizzy. That wasn't like falling asleep - that was like passing out for no reason at all. And I don't like that one bit.
"I think it's about time you went to a doctor. I mean, first you were talking gibberish in your sleep last night, now you scream and fall out of your chair for no reason - what's going on?"
Talking gibberish in my sleep? That's new, he hadn't mentioned that one before. I ask him what happened again, and he tells me the same thing. Apparently, I was just sitting at my computer, reading the e-mail from Sarah, when I slumped over. According to Dan, I looked up at the monitor and screamed, and then fell down on the floor. The whole time, I was just talking nonsense.
I don't like it. At all. I mean, from what Dan says, it sounds like I was having a stroke. Of course, Dan could just be making it up. I could just have fallen asleep and he's decided to get on my case about it.
I feel fine now. I'm going to reply to Sarah's letter. But just to be on the safe side, when I talk to her tomorrow, I'm going to ask about those drawings.

What the hell was happening to me?
"This happens to all the bleeders, Suil. You needn't be worried." Doctor Ow was here, which was reassuring. He hadn't been around recently, since the number of workers that had been hurt by the Machine was on the rise. It's always that way when we near another world. The Machine doesn't like having to work for us, and so when Driver has us turn it up it takes its anger out on us workers. If only it knew who was really behind this - as much as the Driver frightens me, I don't think he could really stand up against the machine. Doc says that it's more powerful, and from what I've seen I can believe it.
Doc was still talking. "You haven't been outside - well, you have but you weren't aware of it. Driver's men came through and collected all the bleeders. They left me alone - I guess they're just used to me. Besides, it wouldn't be hard for the Driver to figure it out, if I'm the one he needs."
I had no clue what he was talking about, but I didn't particularly want to hear more, so I let it go. I still needed to figure out what was happening to me.
"You're right, you're right - I'm sorry, I do tend to stray from the point at times. This is new to you, so I'll explain. Our world is coming closer to the target world, and those who have hosts are starting to feel the effects. On occasion, you can travel to the other world, and your mind can be in the body of your host. Your host's mind comes back here. If you were in the custody of the Driver, he would interrogate your host until he knew if he was of any use in finding what the Driver wants."
My doubts about Doc taking care of me seemed rather stupid just then. I'm sure the Driver wouldn't have made my life - or that of my host's - any easier. It began to annoy me that the Driver would, time and time again, subject us to this sort of thing. As though having to tend to the Machine wasn't bad enough. Not that we could stop him, of course. Still, the question remained: What was it, exactly, that the Driver wanted from all these worlds?
The Doctor didn't like that question at all. "I know the answer." he started. "If he suspected I knew, he'd have me killed, no matter how useful I am at keeping the workers alive. So it's very important that you not say anything."
As though I was going to step out onto the street and get captured just to tell the guards that.
"Sorry Suil, I should be more trusting. You're in this with me now too. The Driver wants to live forever, like all of his people. There aren't many of them, and for some reason they can't make more. Or maybe they just don't want to - after all, if they could reproduce, then they could be replaced. I don't know what their reason is, but they long ago threw out any idea of morality or conscience in completing their goal. Each of driver's people has a small colony of workers, like us, and each has their own Machine. They - converge upon a world, and pick out all those who bleed so they can find whatever it is that keeps them alive. Usually, it's some creature of that world in particular that they're looking for. Certain people are not quite like others, they have a potential within them. There are only a few on each world, but there always seems to be enough for the Drivers. Hmph - occasionally I think...."
Doc just shook his head at that point. "It's not important. What is important is to stop it. I'm not sure where I got the courage to do this, or where the idea came from, but I'm tired of the Driver using us. We don't own our own lives, Suil! Think of that! There was a time when there were no Driver! Where the Machine didn't exist! Workers like you and I would sit underneath skies that we can now only see through the eyes of our hosts, and not have any cares at all. But now we live or die on the whim of a sadistic overlord, or a psychotic Machine."
Doc's words frightened me more than I had been before - mainly because he was right. What kind of life was this? I hadn't ever thought about it before - everything I knew was in this habitat - but I've seen the other world, through the eyes of my host. He certainly didn't seem to be suffering under any constraints. Of course, I couldn't make sense of anything in that world. I understood if someone was speaking to me, but it seems as though anything I said was garbage.
I asked Doc about it yesterday. "It's simple, really - the closer you get to the other world, the more you'll sync with your host when you switch places. From this far away, for instance, you're close enough so that you gain his understanding of what people say, but we're not near enough to your host's world for you to know how to speak his language. So when you're there, you speak in our tongue, which makes no sense to anyone. You're not taking my advice, are you?"
No, I hadn't taken his advice. The kind Doctor had warned me ahead of time that I might cross over to the other world. He had specifically instructed me to just sit still and not do anything, at least not at first. That hadn't worked, of course - I was too disoriented to even realize what was going on. I couldn't even walk, as I rather painfully discovered. I guess more time will have to pass before I can figure these things out.
Dr. Ow hadn't been able to stay for long - there were too many people who needed his attention, and he was gone almost as quickly as he had appeared. But he had come back later, looking significantly less composed than before.
"Have you had any spells recently?" he asked of me. That's what he called it when I crossed over, either dreaming or awake. Spells, like fainting spells or spells of diziness. I suppose it was an apt name. I hadn't though.
Doc didn't seem very relieved. "There's a problem." he explained. "Driver's men have been agitated all day, and I didn't figure out why until recently. There's been no announcement from Driver himself, but there's rumors going around that he can't find his target with the workers he has captured. Do you know what this means?"
A sinking feeling in my stomach told me I did.
"You've got to be the one he's looking for. Driver needs to use you to get whomever it is he's going after. I suspect the guards may come for me - don't try to stop them. I shouldn't be gone for long anyhow - I know that I'm not the one Driver needs - My host is the same as it always is."
Mainly to keep my mind off of what was going to happen when the Driver caught up with me, I asked Ow who his host was.
The Doctor smiled. "It's the same as always, like I said. You don't see it here, of course, but on many other worlds, there aren't Drivers, and rules aren't enforced as much as they are here. You don't die for breaking them. Usually, they put you away. I'm always someone who's in a room, sometimes metal and sometimes padded. People come and go but I am never allowed to leave. So, you see, I'm not of any use to the Driver. The Driver keeps me around because I help keep the workers from dying. Too few workers, and he wouldn't be able to find who he's looking for. So I guess you could say he needs me, at least until they have another batch of workers grown and can afford to replace me. I'm more curious about your host - since it's not me that the Driver's looking for, and I'm fairly certain that there aren't any other workers hiding, you've got to be someone important. Rather, your host must know someone important.
So the Driver was going to get to me after all. No doubt I'd be tortured for not turning myself in the moment I started to bleed. Well, it wasn't as though I hadn't tried, but the good Doctor had other ideas. Oh well, I couldn't really blame him for trying to save me. I mean, what else could we do?
"Well, there is something we can do - I need you to switch places with your host. I have to find out what it is about him that's so important. There's a possibility he doesn't know anyone - it's rare, but there have been a few times where the Drivers haven't been able to find their target, simply because not enough workers were like those on the target world. If that's the case, I can simply tell the Driver's men that I investigated it and found nothing."
How was I supposed to switch places? It wasn't as though I had control over it. It just... happened.
The doctor had been rummaging through one of his cabinets when I asked him how I was supposed to do it. He didn't answer. I found out why when he produced a sealed vial of liquid.
I hate injections! He knows that, too - but I suppose it's the only way.
"I'm sorry Suil, I know nobody likes these things." Doc was getting the Needler set up. "But there's not time for me to try anything else. This material will put you in a state where you will be suggestive to commands. I can have you switch then. We'll only have to do this once, I promise - after that I should be able to put you in the suggestive state at any point."
It wasn't as though I had much choice in the matter. I just closed my eyes and clenched my teeth and waited for the Needler to start.
My field of vision was bright red as the Needler stuck into my neck. I wanted to scream, I wanted to scream so badly - my hands were tearing at the floor and I wanted it to stop. God, I hate this, how much longer does the Needler need? Make it stop,make it stop, make -- --

"This one's from one I had just the other night."
I blinked a bit - no more pain. Everything was fine again, and I was in my host's world. I took a moment to look around.
"Alex, are you okay?"
I didn't know this person (they all look so odd! A little like us, but also so different!) but it was apparent she (she? How can I tell?) was worried.
I'm fine.
I spoke! It didn't sound like gibberish when it came out! Hopefully the Doctor's getting the same results on his end. He might actually be on to something. I look around me, taking in the sights of this strange world. It's so bright - lights are everywhere, and there are people moving all about. I don't see a guard in sight. Pleasant odors are coming through the air - this is much better than the last time I came through.
"Are you sure you're feeling okay? You look a bit distracted.
Of course I was distracted, but I couldn't say that. I really couldn't say much of anything - what would my host say if he were here?
No, really, I'm okay.
Not very convincing, apparently. I looked down at the table where we were seated, and I saw some kind of note-book, like the ones Doctor Ow is always carrying around. And drawn on it -
It's my hourse!
The woman across the table gave me a strange look. "You mean, in the dreams, right? You've seen it in the dreams."
Dreams? What is she talking about, I live there! But no, my host has no idea what my world is. Perhaps he thinks he's dreaming.
Yes, in the dreams.
The woman nods. "Spooky, huh? I mean, my dreams turning out to be like yours. It's kinda wierd, don't you think?"
She's having dreams too, just like my host thinks he is. Maybe this woman is a host to someone I know. She could even be the Doctor, she's certainly smart enough. No, the doctor's isolated. And how did I know she was smart?
"You're going to really like this one. I spent most of today sketching it, and even then I don't think I got it quite right. But it's certainly something to look at." She turned the paper, and I almost screamed right there. It was almost like before, when I had been in front of that bizzare mini-Machine that my host had been using for some purpose. Except this was worse.
She had drawn the machine.
Such horrible detail! I could almost see the remains of workers it had taken, could almost hear its haunting violent churning. I felt sick....
"That's some artwork!" A voice from over my shoulder commented. I turned to look at him. I didn't know him. My host didn't know him either, though I'm not sure how I know that.
"Thank you." My companion seemed truly flattered.
"My name's Dante. It's nice to meet you...."
"I'm Sarah."
Something about this man unnerved me. Plus, the conversation seemed terribly familiar for some reason.
"Nice to meet you, Sarah. I can't talk for long, but if I could perhaps send you an e-mail later?"
Yes, it seemed very familiar. Why can't I remember?
"I'd be happy to" -- --

"What is her name?"
It took me a few moments to realize that I was back in Doc's operating room. He seemed disappointed when he realized that my host and I had changed back. I asked what he learned.
"Only that your host apparently knows someone else who's 'dreaming' of this world as well."
Sarah. Her name's Sarah.
Ow seemed delighted. "Ah, why thank you! I had forgotten that you might have some valuable information from their world as well. Tell me all that you can."
So I told him as much as I could remember about what had happened. It was odd, I was starting to forget. The doctor wrote everything down in his note-book, which is good because otherwise it would have left me like any other dream. It already seemed as though I had imagined the whole thing.
"This makes my task much easier." Ow was packing his things into some sort of traveling bag while he talked. "But still not more desirable. I've got to go see the Driver himself, and get permission to interview the guards and workers to find out who the hosts are. If nobody's host is this 'Sarah' person, than we know it's you who the Driver needs to go through.
What about the other person? I had forgotten his name.
"Dante? There doesn't seem to be any reason to suspect he's a host, now does there?"
Well, no, but I still had a feeling about it.
"Okay, I'll humor you just this once. I'm going out. If you have any more spells, be sure to write them down as soon as you and your host are back in the proper places." The doctor tore out a few sheets of his note-book and placed them on the floor near me, along with a writer.
The Doctor was gone before I could remind him that I couldn't write, and the only reason that I was able to even keep a journal was because he had given me a voice-keeper. I figured I'd use that.
It didn't really matter anyway, the good doctor never did get to see my notes.
I've scheduled an appointment to see a neurologist. They seemed concerned after I described my symptoms - I have to say that didn't make me feel any better. Blackouts, halluncinations, siezures (at least, that's as much sense as they could make of what my roomate had described) - if they didn't know better, they'd think I'd had a stroke.
If I hadn't already made the appointment, I would have brought myself straight to the emergency room this morning. I'm still tempted to do so.
Yesterday was bizzare enough. I blacked out while talking with Sarah, and when I came to, she was there talking to some other guy, a different drawing was on her notepad, and everything was going on as before. It's as though time had passed, but I hadn't done anything. I didn't mention anything to Sarah after the other guy (his name's Dante, I later found out) left, as I'm still a little afraid that I'm going to scare her away.
I had thought my little episodes were dreams, but they could be the result of many things. A stroke, brain tumors - nothing pleasant. In the last one, the creature who I think is a doctor was asking me questions. Who is important? Who do you know? I don't know anyone important, but apparently my explanations weren't good enough for the doctor. It didn't help that I was in horrible pain for the first minute or so - something was attatched to my neck.
I hate this! I hate trying to figure out what's wrong with me - I could be dying right now. At this very instant, some cancer is eating away at my brain, and there's not a thing that I can do about it. I just want to hit something, I need to take this out somehow!

I woke up this morning, and I couldn't see color anymore.
That's not the worst part. If it was just that, I would have forgotten about the appointment and made out my will instead. It seems that I can still see color, but only for a few things. Like me, for instance. I'm still in color. My computer, my roomate, the television, all shades of grey. But I'm in color.
I wanted to talk to Sarah about it. I was going to come clean on everything - so far, she just knew about my dreams. She didn't know about the blackouts. She didn't know about this newest development. But she would understand, I felt sure of it. Something within me wanted to go to her, to confess everything. Part of me actually feared her, oddly enough. I didn't know what to think anymore.
It didn't matter, she wasn't in class. I'm falling further behind, but I think that 'brain tumor' is an acceptable excuse for failing an exam. Maybe I can arrange for a make-up exam, provided I live that long. I've got this horrible feeling of mortality hanging over me, and it's not just the specter of something wrong with my head. I feel as though anyone I see could be
guards
Driver
The Machine
harmful to me, and there would be nothing I could do to save myself once I met them.
I saw someone else in color today. Not someone I knew, but just someone walking along. I thought up some excuse to talk to him, if for no reason than to see what was different about color.
The man started when I spoke to him, and regarded me incredulously as I asked where the chemistry building was. I knew, it was just nearby, but I just needed to make conversation.
"I don't know you. You're bleeding, but you're not one of us." the man said. His eyes were wide with fear. Fear? What did this person have to fear from me?
"He must be looking for you! Where do you live?"
Something in this person's manner bothered me - it was like he wasn't even paying attention to my attempts to converse. I had to get out of that conversation.
"The Driver will find you!" the man yelled as I ducked into the chemistry building.

The Driver Will Find You

I had to sit down. I didn't care that I was in the hallway of the chemistry building, I had to sit down. I put my back to the nearest wall and slumped against it, shivering.

The Driver Will Find You

Why did that frighten me so much? The man was making no sense at all, but.... Something was wrong with me, something very, very wrong. If it's me, then why was the man acting strange? Or had I just imagined it? Am I that far gone?

The Driver Will Find You
Pray He Does So Before The Machine

I had to stifle a cry - plugging my ears and shutting my eyes aren't keeping these thoughts away, but it's the only thing I can do. Short of going stark, raving mad, like the Doctor's host.
Doctor's host? That other world is becoming more real than this one, and I'm going to either end up in the hospital or in a padded room.
I don't know how much time passed.
What I do know is that, at some point, I got up and decided to go back to my room. I'd already missed half of my only remaining class, coming in this late would only hinder me. Besides, likely as not I wouldn't be able to concentrate anyway. So I got up, and walked home. Everything was still grey, though I was in such a state of numbness by then that I didn't even notice. I just wanted it over with - I'd dealt with all this too much, and it's getting more that just a little frustrating.

Sarah was waiting for me outside of my room.

A half an hour later, three people were in my room. Me, Sarah, and Dante sat on chairs, all facing each other. My roomate, thankfully, was at what passed for his job at the time. I didn't need him here.
Both Sarah and Dante were in color - I wasn't surprised, at least as far as Sarah went. It seemed consistent, didn't it? First, her dreams are like mine, and next we both seem to have survived the de-coloring of the world.
"You have no idea how good it is for me to see you, Alex." Sarah was talking, a look of relief on her face. "The dreams were frightening enough, but when I woke up this morning and I couldn't see colors - I thought I was going insane!"
It wasn't just me. I didn't know whether to feel relieved or to just scream and not stop. Because if it wasn't me, it meant that all of this, every insane twisted bit of it, was actually happening

And The Driver Searches For You Still

I shuddered. But did they pass out too? Were they having episodes like I was? Did they see the other world, with the creatures and the other horrible things?
Dante shook his head. "No - none of that's happened to me. I've just seen glimpses of what Sarah's drawn in my dreams. And, like the two of you, I woke up unable to see color except for myself and you."
Sarah, too, shook her head. "Has it been happening to you, Alex?"
Yes. Like at the union, just the day before
I knew I shouldn't have said anything - Sarah hadn't noticed. Neither had Dante. I hadn't done anything strange after I came to, and apparently I had acted at least reasonably normal while I was out. Not only was this odd color-draining thing actually happening, it seemed, but I was having a stroke at the same time! I closed my eyes.
"The question is, what do we do about all of this?" Dante had spoken up to fill the silence.
I didn't know about them, but I was going to get an MRI.
"That's not such a bad idea, Alex" Sarah commented. "Maybe something's wrong with all of us."
I told them about the other person I had seen, the one who had been in color as well. I left out my stay in the chemistry building afterward.
"I think I know the person you're talking about - at least, the way you described him. There was a guy in my lab this morning who was in color. But he didn't say anything to me. He looked pretty distracted though - I think he was having the same problems we are. I guess he just didn't want people to think he was insane. I'll talk to him if I see him next week," Dante looked speculative as he thought about it.
It's not going to last a week.
"How do you know that?" Dante seemed doubtful and a bit annoyed at my assertion.
"No, he's right." Sarah spoke up. "It's not going to last that long. At least, from what I gather from my dreams - if they're related."
Dante went back to looking thoughtful. "I think they are related. We all had similar dreams, after all - and now we all share this affliction. So if you say it's not going to be that long, I'll believe you. My dreams don't offer me any insight into that."
I hadn't heard about Dante's dreams before. I wondered if he had shared them with Sarah.
"No, you haven't mentioned the dreams. What have you seen?" Sarah asked Dante. The other man clearly seemed uneasy at the questioning.
"I've seen a lot of the things that the two of you have mentioned. The creatures, the guards. A few times, I've seen this tall, shadowy figure in the distance. All the guards and creatures seemed to fear it, but all I felt for it was this intense hatred...."
The Driver.... I wanted to scream, but I only whispered.
"Yes, that's what the creatures called it. I wanted to harm that thing so badly...."
I had never seen The Driver for myself in the dreams, but the only emotion that the thought conjured up was mindless fear. But I hated whatever creation the Driver was for that.
"I've never seen The Driver either. Just a lot of creatures, and a lot of guards." Sarah said, shivering. "I don't like this, there's too much here that frightens me. This is just too strange."
Just wait until she starts passing out and talking gibberish. But no, that hadn't happened to either of them. Just me. I'm the only one who's participating in both mass insanity, and my own private little craziness.
It's strange, all this was slowly starting to seem normal to me.
All of this traveling between worlds was strange, but it's been going on too long.... I suppose I had to get used to it. My only other alternative was to go insane, and I didn't want that. After all, most of my fellow workers survived, I should be able to fare at least as well. It's an added bonus that I've got the doctor looking after me rather than The Driver's men. I'm sure they wouldn't be nearly as helpful.
I hadn't seen the doctor until a few moments ago. I'd been afraid that the Driver hadn't let him go. Had doc actually spoken to Driver himself? Actually speaking to that horrible figure was something that most workers never did - and told about, anyway.
"Hello Suil...." Doctor Ow was in the doorway, and he didn't look good. I could see numerous scratches and one of his arms was in a sling. What had happened?
"The agent of the Driver that I spoke to didn't believe what I said. He thinks I'm hiding something. I told him that I had to take care of more patients here - which is true. I don't know how, but he knew I was covering up something. He let me go, but on my trip back here I was ambushed by some Guards. They told me to shape up, else they were going to harm me so badly that the only one who could have saved me would have been myself. Well, they didn't say that, being the rather dim creatures they are, but it was something to that effect. We haven't much time."
But what were we supposed to do? I had been confused all along as to Doc's purpose. At first, it had just seemed sufficient to hide from the Driver, but now - really, what reason was there? We were going to get caught and die, after all.
"We're going to do something that I should have done correctly a long time ago." Doctor Ow said. "I am going to show you the Machine, Suil, and the two of us are going to convince it that the workers are not its enemy.
No. I would have rather just confessed my crimes to the Driver himself than face that Machine. I didn't even want to think about it - being shown a world where guards aren't around every corner, courtesy of my host, had made me hate this place... but not so badly that I was going to commit the kind of suicide Doc had in mind.
"Be reasonable, Suil! It's the only way! Even if all of the workers were to revolt, the guards would have us all dead in moments. We could not survive against them - Driver himself wouldn't even have to raise a finger to strike all of us down. Likely as not the revolution would be over before word even got to him that it had begun. This is our only option! The machine is more powerful than the Driver - have you ever seen the Driver, Suil?"
It was a rhetorical question, he knew that I hadn't. I said so.
"I'm sorry for seeming condescending like that, Suil, but I have to get my point across. The Driver doesn't come near the machine. Neither, if you'll notice, do the guards. The only reason that they can even hold the Machine at bay is because their weapons have enough range to strike it before it could strike them." The Doctor seemed agitated. "Suil, it's our only chance."
The Doctor made sense, but it still didn't do anything for this mindless fear that seized my brain every time I even thought of the Machine. I shuddered even then, even though I was safe in the doctor's operating room.
The Machine

I couldn't do it! I just couldn't face that tower of grinding steel, that horrid gnashing tearing Machine. Its noise would deafen me, its steam would blind me, its dangling rusted limbs would hook into my skin. I would die, I would die a thousand deaths, the Machine would rend me to pieces and enjoy every moment of my pain. I could not do it.
I hadn't said anything, just sat there against the wall, trying not to show any outward manifestation of my thoughts. Doctor Ow, in the meanwhile, seemed to be getting more and more agitated.
"Suil, I have a favor to ask of you - I am going to close that door and then give you the key to open it. For the next half hour, do not let me have that key. Don't open the door for me, no matter what I say. Do you understand?"
I nodded. Just when I thought I couldn't get any more uneasy, Doc starts acting all bizzare and mysterious again. What was going to happen?
"I cannot be certain, but I believe that I am going to change places with my host soon. You may speak with him all that you like - if I were you, I would use it as an opportunity to learn more about the world of our hosts. But don't listen if he tells you to let him out of the room. I don't believe that he will attack you. If he does, defend yourself with this." The Doctor crossed the room shakily, retrieved the needler, and gave it to me. "It's a bit unwieldy as a weapon, but the liquid I've put in there should knock him out for long enough to allow for my return."
It occurred to me that Doc had seen me and my hosts switch places numerous times, but I had never seen it happen to him. I wondered how he could tell it was happening - I never could.
The doctor sat on the operating table and faced one of the cabinets. I watched carefully, but I couldn't tell when it happened. There was no overt change in the Doctor himself, and no lights or sounds or anything that would indicate that something was happening. I was about to speak up, when the doctor climbed down from the table and faced me.
"Suil, right?" he asked.
I couldn't be sure if this person was still the doctor or not. Oddly enough, I found it hard to believe... he had all of the doctor's mannerisms, his voice, his stance. Nothing seemed changed. I nodded, wondering what was going to happen. My hands tightened around the Needler.
"Hello, Suil - it's nice to meet you. My name is Geoffrey Talbot." Geoffrey smiled. "I believe the good doctor would refer to me as his host."
How did he know my name?
Geoffrey laughed - eerily similar to the Doctor's, but still slightly different. "It's easy, really. Our worlds are close enough that I can remember things that your Doctor remembers. It takes a bit of pracice, though, so if you're not doing it with your host that's why. But I've had plenty of practice. I mean, it's because of last time that I'm in that padded cell."
I never thought someone could make less sense than Doctor Ow did. I guess he and his host must be very similar. I asked what he was talking about. What was this 'last time;?
Geoffrey's eyes widened. He looked thoughtful for a moment, then looked back at me. "That's one of the things that the good doctor never told you. He's kept a lot from you, and he expects a lot as well. I think I'll tell you. Not because I have anything against my host - other than he's the reason I'm locked up - but because I think you should have all the information before you decide to go to the machine.
"How old are you?" Talbot said suddenly, after a moment's thought.
The question threw me. I thought I was going to get an explanation! But I answered anyway: very. Somehow, I had survived twenty years in this place.
"That sounds right - she is about that old too. That places your birth about two years after the event." Geoffrey was apparently trying to stifle a laugh. "Sorry - I see you're confused. I'll start from the beginning:
"About twenty-two years ago, this group's Machine neared my world. Don't seem so surprised, Suil - the Drivers routinely visit worlds that they have in the past. Any world who has a host for them is likely to have another at later intervals. I'm confusing you again... my apologies.
"Back then, I was a doctor - ironically enough - in a small clinic. When your Doctor came into my world, he pretty much ruined my life. I went through what I imagine your host is going through - I believed myself insane, if not gravely ill. Before the end of it, I was put away in my padded cell, where I have remained since. Everyone else thought that I was crazy, but over time I began to believe what I had experienced. It was a simple thing that convinced me, really. At one point, I began to see like you and the doctor do - that is, I saw the world in shades of grey, with only a few people in color. Those were the hosts, though I didn't know that then. One of the people was a patient of mine, who had chronic problems with her back. What convinced me, was that she also saw me in color."
This was a strange story - was it really like this for my host? I would have thought the Doctor would have explained everything to him. Then again, this man probably hadn't had someone to look out for him.
"What happened in your world during all of this, I'm still not sure of. What I'm telling you is my own memories, combined with those that I've managed to find in the Doctor's mind. You see, after it ended, after everything returned to normal in my world, my patient was gone. They, The Drivers, had been looking for her, and they had taken her to further themselves. Incidentally, I was blamed for her disappearance - which lead me to my happy home today. In your world, however, something very different was happening. Some of the workers had ambushed a Guard and stolen his weapon. Apparently, our good doctor had been hidden away, much as he's hidden you away. The Driver at that time was furious - many of the workers had never seen him before that day, when he stormed out of his complex, all rage and fury. He tore workers apart with his bare hands, if the raspy appendages could be called such." Geoff paused to shudder. "I saw the thing firsthand. God, I hope it never happens again. The Driver had specifically forbidden the guards to kill workers, so he would have the pleasure of torturing them to find out my location. See, much like the situation you now find yourself in, the Driver knew that there was a worker missing, and that worker - me - was the key to finding his host."
I had to interrupt. The Driver had a host?
"Of course she does. Every driver has a host. Every worker has a host. Perhaps the doctor hasn't explained it to you: Every sentient being has a host. Simply put, your host is who you would be, had you been born in the other world. There's not a correspondence between the worlds, either. If you were to die, your host would not necessarily do so. The Drivers go from world to world, trying to find their hosts. But they can't change places like the workers can, so they use the workers to do it for them. I don't know what they do with the hosts, only I've never seen that patient of mine again."
He paused, and I had to restrain the urge to beg him to continue. At lengh, he did.
"In your world, the workers had settled on a plan to lure the Driver into a trap. They used me as bait - they set me out defenseless, with only a group of workers around me. One of them had the weapon, concealed on his person. When the Driver came to collect me - they killed him.
"I hate remembering it. I hate it, because it took so long for him to die. The weapon just kept hitting him and hitting him over and over again, and whatever liquid serves at that creature's blood was everywhere but it just wouldn't die! The guards came and started killing workers. It was too late to save their Driver, but almost all the workers died that day. Doc survived, though I don't know how - I had been returned to my world by then. For me, it was over.
"When I was pulled back into this world again, I made it my mission to find out as much as possible about what was happening. I picked the Doctor's brain, and I don't think he suspects. What happened after the death of that Driver are from his memories, so I don't know how accurate they really are. According to Doctor Ow, three Drivers appeared from the portal in the northern part of the habitat. They stopped the killing, and immediately set about restoring order. Another batch of workers were grown, one of which was selected to become the new Driver"
Again I interrupted. How could that be? The Driver was really just a worker like us?
Geoffrey nodded. "I don't know what twisted method they use to change them, but Drivers start their lives as workers. You were born at the same time your Driver was, along with most of the other workers you see here. Two years after that, you were hardly ready to work, but the Driver was fully mature, and twisted as the rest of her kind."
I sat in stunned silence. No wonder the Doctor hadn't told me about it - I would have given up all hope long ago. Not that I had much hope anyway.
Talbot looked attentive suddenly. "My time's just about up, it seems. It's been pleasant talking to you. I hope that the good Doctor will understand my reasons for doing what I did. I will leave you with him in just a few moments. Before I go, though, allow me to warn you. He's using you the same way the workers used him. He plans to bring the Driver to his death, but in doing so he may be assuring yours.
"Farewell, Suil. Perhaps we will meet again."

I'm so tired.... I haven't been to class today or yesterday; I've been unable to focus, unable to think. All I want to do now is sleep - just sleep until this whole horrible thing is over.
Nearly everything is grey, still. Sarah and Dante aren't here now, so I'm in my own world, and it's all grey. My roomate was here earlier - I think he's actually worried about me. I don't blame him, I'm pretty worried about me too.
Three times yesterday, I had blackouts. They only lasted about fifteen minutes or so, and I didn't see the Doctor - or anyone else, for that matter. Just me in a room.
Perhaps most infuriating is the fact that Sarah and Dante weren't there to see it. Of course, it might not have mattered if they were - the very first time I recall having a blackout, both of them were there and they hadn't noticed. But I need to have them believe me. Because otherwise it doesn't matter - the similar dreams, the grey color of everything - nothing mattered because I was still insane. Or having a stroke. Possibly, I'm dead already.
I got up out of bed and walked to the lobby of my hall. Still grey. I wasn't even sure what I was trying to do. Part of me said to go outside and do something - that's the route that Dante and Sarah had taken. Both of them had gone to classes, studied for their quizzes - Dante had even gone to see a movie. What's the point?
They don't think any of it's affecting them either. I think that both of them are waiting to see if my tests return any results before they start panicking themselves. But they're changing, I think. I didn't really know either of them that well until a few days ago, so I really can't say. But Sarah, she's become more withdrawn, more angry. Lately, whenever we've met to talk about what we should do (it always boils down to "What can we do?" - and the answer is always "Nothing") she's been adamant about leading the group. Dante doesn't like that - he wants in on the conversations too, but Sarah's always attempting to be the one talking. Both of them have become increasingly rude to each other - with the way they've behaved lately, I'm surprised that neither have been in a fistfight. Perhaps that's why they've wanted to go on with their lives - their normal everyday routines don't bring them into much contact with each other.
And me - well, I wasn't holding up to well under everything, as is probably apparent. I'm actually growing more like the person from that other world, at least, I'm becoming what I think he's like. Afraid, mainly. I'm scared to step outside my room, scared to wait here in this lobby. I feel like at any moment, I'm going to be discovered by
The Driver
The Machine
someone and be killed. The visions I see during my blackouts are becoming more real, more lifelike. Everything's grey there too, except for me and the Doctor. When I come back, I'm not entirely sure that I'm in the right place, or that I even belong in my world. The words of that crazed colorful man from two days ago still haunt me. I close my eyes, and I hear his frantic scream. I just want to go to my room, huddle into a ball and go to sleep.
But I didn't do any of those things. Instead, I went to class, on the off chance that I might actually survive long enough to be tested on the material.

Hours later, when I returned to my room, I felt better. Not a whole lot - after all, the world was grey and I was still doomed to death by stroke/brain tumor/unspeakable monstrosity - but somewhat better. Class helped to distract me. Now that I was no longer in it, the troubles of my existence reasserted themselves. I didn't want to believe that any of it was happening. I hadn't had a blackout yet today, but something in my brain said that I was due for one. I decided to get back to my room before I did something stupid.
Sarah was in my room. "Alex!" she said, apparently glad to see me.
I nearly turned around and ran, and I wasn't sure why. Panic just overcame me, and I wanted to get as far from
her
this pace as I could. Only an overt act of will kept me from bolting. How did she get in?
"Your roomate let me in an hour ago, he said you'd be coming back about now - Alex, what's wrong? You look terrified!"
Slowly, the edge of panic left me. I felt my muscles relax from their fight-or-flight state. It was okay, I was safe here. As much as I told myself that, part of my mind remained on edge. I'm not certain what it was I feared, but that didn't really matter - lately, it seemed that my fear was pretty much omnidirectional. I told Sarah I was all right, and then collapsed onto my bed. I felt drained of everything. I no longer even had the will to keep my eyes open. Soon I was going to black out anyway, so it didn't really matter.
That thought made me open my eyes. I needed Sarah to do me a favor. "Actually Alex, I came here to talk to you about Dante."
Couldn't she forget her arguments with Dante for just one second! Those two had been fighting every moment I had seen them together. There was a lot of tension between them, and not the good kind. It was more the homicidal sort of tension.
Sarah glared at me and I suddenly felt a resurgance of the panic that had nearly made me run from my own room. I was going to die, now. The moment I had feared and dreaded was about to happen - I was going to die.
The look passed though - how does Dante manage to keep arguing with her? He's probably not becoming schizophrenic like I am, I imagine that could help. "I'm sorry - you're right, I have been yelling at Dante a lot. I've been in a horrible mood lately, I keep getting this feeling that something is being hidden from me. I know you're not keeping any secrets or anything, but I just can't shake it. I was about ready to tear your head off there for talking back to me, you know." she smiled to indicate that it was a joke. I didn't find it funny. "Okay, so what is it that you want?"
I didn't have much time at all, it was going to happen now. I was going to have a blackout. Sarah had to talk to me, she needed to ask me things that only I and her would know. That way -- --

I was in a dark room. It wasn't the operating room that had become so familiar to me over time - it was some kind of meeting room. I don't think that I was even in the Doctor's place anymore. Everything seems kind of blurry, but it always does at the beginning of these blackouts.
"Suil, are you all right? You look like you're sick or something."
The world - Suil's world - snapped into sharp focus. The Doctor was in front of me, looking worried. In the background I could see perhaps a dozen creatures, some sitting on the floor while most were speaking to each other. I informed the good doctor that I wasn't Suil.
"Alex!" he seemed surprised. "Damn, I was hoping that drug would keep the switch from happening, apparently it didn't last as long as I had hoped. It's not important though, I can tell Suil what happened here when he gets back."
Is this really happening?
The Doctor - who was walking away as I asked the question, looked back at me with an expression of - pity? "Yes, young Alex. This is really happening. You're not sick, you're not insane, everything you see and hear is real. It's simply not your world." With that, he moved to the front of the room.
I had no idea what was happening, but I had gathered the idea that Doc was about to talk. I looked around for a chair to sit in, but there weren't any. I simply sat on the floor, a bit apart from the rest of the people there.
"Thank you for coming, all. You know why we're here, so I won't bother you with those details. I can't take long, as the next guard sweep of this building is scheduled for about ten minutes from now.
"First of all, I would like to personally congratulate Lenn and Ratinne for their heroism yesterday. Without them we would not have the guard's weapon which we require." He indicated a short creature toward the front of the room.
The creature, apparently Lenn, stood and spoke to the group. "It was my duty to our group to perform what the Doctor wished, and also my honor. I am sad to say that Ratinne could not be here. The good Doctor did what he could to help her, but the shells fired by the guard's weapon are beyond his reach. She died for the cause." After a moment of silence, Lenn sat back down.
"Thank you again, Lenn, and we all thank Ratinne for her actions. Group, I know that we have made many compromises in the past, and many of our kind have died unjustly. All of those who bled were gathered up and taken to the Driver's compound. I have reason to believe that they will never exit that place."
All during this odd speech, facts which I had no business knowing kept coming to my mind. All those people were dead, the Doctor had told me so yesterday - rather, he had told Suil. But I knew too.
"Our time of compromise has come to an end. Tomorrow, we shall move. Suil is key to our operation regarding the Driver - it will be him that our slavemaster shall pursue, so stay close to him!"
Most of the heads in the room turned to look at me as the doctor gestured in my direction. I felt uncomfortable - I was going to do something, and Suil knew what it was. I should be able to figure it out as well, but every time I tried, I felt like I was going to panic.
"Tomorrow, we will begin our assault. During that time, Lenn will be leading us toward the Machine, as I may or may not be myself at the time. I urge all of you again, once the assault has begun, do not listen to what I say. Lenn will be your leader then - I may not even be myself. When the worlds are as close as they are going to be tomorrow, not even my drugs will be able to keep me from changing with my host." The Doctor's words were light, but nobody seemed to pick up on it - the tone was still dark and ominous. The doctor's words quickly changed to match. "All of you, I wish you luck. Prepare your affairs this evening, for tomorrow, we meet the Machine."
Everyone got up, and another wave of panic struck me.
Tomorrow, we meet the Machine
Not the Machine! Suil was going to do it, but I felt his fear - I didn't even clearly understand what it was that was going to happen. I moved forward to talk to the Doctor.
"Suil, you should go to bed." The doctor said, momentarily forgetting that I was not Suil. "You have -- --

"I wish you luck then." Sarah was talking to me. Her face was unreadable. "I feel frightened for you, but for some reason, also frightened for myself."
It took a few moments before everything came back into focus for me. This world seemed less real than what had just happened, and I couldn't shake the idea that I was dreaming. My attention moved to Sarah, who was pacing around the room anxiously. I told her that I had come back.
"Alex...." She was silent for a time, her face changing expressions rapidly - one moment she seemed worried, the next she seemed enraged. Finally, she just closed her eyes and sat down on the bed with me. "Oh Alex, I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I'm sorry. What your friend - or whoever it is I was talking to -"
His name's Suil....
"Yes, Suil. He told me what it was he had to do."
Another wave of fright overcame me, but I asked anyway. What was he going to do?
Sarah shook her head. "Alex, he - he's going to make a sacrifice. So that the rest of his people will live... he's going to die."
I couldn't believe I was doing this, but I was going to do it anyway.
I'm still not sure where I got this courage from. Maybe it's my host's - I wonder what kind of shape he's in, though. Not that I can change any of that. Doc says that it's something that can't really be helped. I talked to him the other day, about what his host said. I wondered if my host was going to end up a prisoner like the Doctor's had. The doctor had said that there was a possibility. It had happened before, on many worlds. It could happen in this case, too.
At least he was being honest with me.
We were outside the Doctor's office - Doctor Ow himself, Lenn, and a few other workers that I didn't know. Lenn had the guard's weapon that he had won, and was eagerly looking for something to shoot it at. Given the Doctor's plans for the evening, that seemed increasingly likely.
"Lenn, are you prepared?" The doctor seemed agitated. Lenn just nodded and looked over the rest of the group.
"All right, fellow workers, let's listen up!" Lenn moved to the front of the group as he spoke. "The good doctor has assigned me to the position of leader on this expedition, and I do not intend to disappoint him! This means that I do not want any of you disappointing me! What we are doing is for not only our own good, but the good of all our people. So if we are killed tonight, or captured and tortured, or fed to the Machine itself, we have not died in vain so long as we accomplish our mission. The Doctor will now brief you on the details.
Doctor Ow stepped forward to address the group. "Thank you all, once more, for going on this mission. All of you will be heroes to our people, and generations of workers to come shall remember you. From here, we will march directly toward the Machine. I have timed our march so that we will intersect a group of guards once we are two thirds of the way there. At that point, we must break for the Machine. The guards will not shoot us - they can't take the chance on killing Suil - but they will attempt to engage us in hand-to-hand combat. I trust you are all armed. Keep in mind that while Lenn has a long-range weapon manufactured for the guards, he has only limited ammunition for it, and we must arrive at our desination with at least one round in it. The gun will be used sparingly, but effectively. I ask that you now allow Lenn to be your leader. As you can see, I am showing color, and will soon change places with my host. I should be back to myself by the time we arrive where we are going, but I cannot guarantee this. At no point are you to listen to anything I say - until Lenn relieves his command, I am not to be trusted. Lenn, these workers are yours."
"Thank you Doctor. A short word before we go. Many of you fear the guards - the mere thought of contradicting them brings a surge of panic to your minds. More so the Driver himself. Perhaps even most, the thought that we will soon be nearing the Machine's grasp. You must not give in to fear. If this mission fails, fear shall be its undoing - you must remember, that if we fear now, then generation upon generation of our people shall fear under the rule of the Driver, and the shadow of the Machine. Channel your fear - for as much as you fear the guards, I know you hate them as well. Use this in your battles. Now, take a moment to prepare yourselves, and when I move - follow me.
I closed my eyes and tried to prepare myself. Lenn was right - I feared everything that was happening. I had a long rusty knife in one hand, but I knew that I would be unable to use it. Despise our leader's advice, I didn't think that I'd be able to channel my fear into anger. Most likely I'd simply scream and give up. I didn't know how I would face the Machine, or the Driver.
Lenn made a motion with his arm, and the group sprang into motion. They moved quickly, it was hard for me to keep up. Drawing on my reserves of will (already? I wasn't going to last long at this rate) I followed them. I didn't like this at all....
The Doctor moved to my side, an odd look on his face. I found out why when he spoke.
"Hello again young Suil. It's a shame we have to meet again under such circumstances, I was hoping the doctor would have perfected his swap- inhibition drugs by this point. It's rather annoying being dragged out of my peaceful cell and into this warzone."
Geoffrey!
"Yes, it's me. Suil, I don't think you know what's going to happen here." Geoffrey nearly tripped over a rock on the ground - I helped him up and ran to catch up with Lenn, who was leading the group by a fair margin.
"Thank you Suil." Geoffrey looked tired. "I'm not in shape for this - rather, the Doctor isn't. At any rate, you may have wondered why it is that the Doctor purposefully had us encounter a guard patrol when we are going to be so close to our goal?"
Of course I had wondered - it had seemed rather foolish of the Doctor to let the Driver know that the revolution was underway when we were so close to our goal.
"He's doing it to get the attention of the Driver - he's doing to you the same thing that was done to him as a child, except this time he intends to do it right. He's going to use you as bait, my young friend, bait to lure the Driver within reach of the Machine."
I nearly stopped running at that, but I quickly got back to my feet. This was no time for me to falter, no time for me to fall. But still.... I was not only going to have to face one of my nightmares in the form of that horribe mechanical Machine, I was also going to have to face the Driver's horrible, twisted form. Something that was once a worker, like me - but now something different, some perverted abomination whose form only mocks all that is normal and good about the workers. I wanted to yell, or cry, or hit something. Instead, I ran. I turned to face the Doctor, -- --

It's dark, and cold in my host's room. My heart is racing, but I don't know what I can do. Slowly, I begin to wind down from my state. I'm alone, and it's cold, and dark. There seems to be a storm outside, wind is blowing the trees with vengeance, and rain hits the window hard - I wonder if it's actually hail. What can I do? I paced back and forth in the room, trying to think, trying to figure out what I could do. This had to be frustrating for the Doctor, to not have control over what was happening. This couldn't be good for my host, either, apprearing in the middle of a battlezone. I needed to think up a plan.
Frantic pounding at the door siezed my attention. "Let me in! Alex, let me in!" It was Dante, sounding panicked. "God, please! Let me in!" I ran toward the door -- --

I nearly tripped as I came back into my world, the Doctor's arm held me up. It was so noisy - I heard shots being fired from ahead and could make out Lenn firing the weapon toward a group of Guards standing in front of us.
"There's too many of them! I'm running out of rounds!" he shouted frantically. The three or four workers behind me were locked in combat with a group of guards, and giving ground fast. And in the distance, but still visible, was the Machine.
A wave of horror and nausea overcame me and it was only through the Doctor's strength that I got to keep going. The Machine was pumping fast, its metallic parts screaming against each other - as though it was enjoying watching the carnage.
And then I saw it - The Driver was running faster than any worker, twisted to evil or not, had any right to. Guards that stood in its way were torn apart, their bodies vaporized but not before their tortured screams could reach my ears. I wanted to die, because the hideous eyes of that thing were staring straight at me.
I ran. I ran as fast and furiously as I could. Toward the machine. Two terrors besieged me - one a thing of flesh and darkness, another a tower of metal and Power. The Machine seemed to be laughing, loving the struggle, but its tone suddenly changed. The eldrich motors which drove it changed gear, and its high-pitch squeal of metal upon metal grew low, like a dark growling of some horrible creature. It had spotted the Driver -- --

Dante was adamant, standing at one end of the room. Framed in the doorway, Sarah glared at him.
"You...." They both said simultaneously. -- --

Pain shot through my shoulder as I ran into the machine. Gears tore my flesh, but I didn't care, I didn't care anymore. I had done it - I had completed what I had to do. I could die now....
Lenn ran by me and thrust the gun into the metallic innards of the Machine. The horrible grinding noise within increased to a fever pitch, and black smoke began to ooze from every opening in the thing. I was suddenly dropped by the Machine, and all noise from it ceased.
Anger. I ran to Lenn and started to choke him. What have you done! You've destroyed our only weapon! You idiot! We're all dead, you've killed us all!
Doctor and a few of the other workers pulled me off of him. I turned and
"SUIL!!!"
I froze. The Driver. The Driver. The Driver. I couldn't - I needed to, but I - I -- --

Dante stood in the corner, his hands on his head, moaning in pain as he tried to say something. Sarah's eyes were wide as she approached me, knife glittering in hand
"Suil, you've disappointed me - you would deny the Drivers their birthright. Now, now you will pay for -- --

ALL THAT YOU HAVE DONE" The Driver's twisted form floated forward, the strands of darkness in which he - She - was always enveloped in writhing in anticipation -- --

"No! You can't do this to me!" Dante screamed and launched himself toward -- --

The Machine suddenly whirled into motion, its voice raising in a howl of fury.
Steam poured from the openings of the machine, as its metallic structure began to shift. The Driver moved toward its new nemesis, but too late... Beams of metal snapped, gears and chains flew outward, and rust sprayed the area. With a roar of a fury so pure as to cause everyone to stop and stare, the Machine toppled forward, its gears grinding, its sharp edges glittering as it fell upon the Driver. With a cry of agony, the tormenter of all workers was torn to shreds in moments.
The Guards turned to it, firing their weapons into the toppled mass of the Machine, which was slowly beginning to move from its resting space of untold years. As the rounds struck, the Machine's innards wound into fury again, and suddenly tens of thousands of projectiles, just the same as those the Guards had been using, fired outward. Something hit me in the back of the neck and I went down amid fires, noise, and pain.
But I had done it... I had saved... Us all.... .... ....

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