The Slobby Kangaroo: How I became a Slob by Arbiter_25
A young kangaroo named Arbiter is sleeping on his bed. There is nothing really special about him really, he’s pretty skinny, and he has yellow fur all around his body expect for his belly which is white and the tip of his tail which is red.
“There is nothing really special about him” Ouch, bro, way to neg your character right at the beginning of the story! Read further and you’ll wish the narration had said something meaner.
Get a load of this upcoming tense-swap!
The kangaroo is wearing a white T-shirt with a rainbow on it and a pair of tight skater jeans. His hair is red, with an emoish flip to it. The roo lived a pretty decent life; he lived in a small apartment with one of his friends, a wolf, who was an excellent cook that usually served him healthy foods. Although the roo hated eating “this hippie crap” that his friend made for him, he could not complain, since his friend paid all of the bills and usually was the one that bailed him out of trouble.
Arbiter basically sits around all day doing nothing while his roommate makes him nutritious meals, helps him with his problems, and pays rent. He says he can’t complain, yet calls the free food “this hippie crap.” This Arbiter guy sounds like a dick.
He looks exactly like the kind of guy to e-beg and cry that he's in an emergency the first chance he gets.
The roo always had a sweet tooth and enjoyed eating nothing but sugary candy 24/7. The roo also despised cleanliness, which he believed was evil. However, once again, he could not complain since his friend despised sugar and forbade any in his apartment and was also a clean freak, making sure every little detail was clean.
Why did he think that being clean was evil? Sounds like he didn’t “become” a slob; he started off that way and got worse. Someone buy poor Wolf a drink.
Imagine him at a convention.
As the roo slept, he had a most marvelous dream. In this dream, he saw an utterly fat roo, whose belly was large and round, lying on a pile of candy. His shirt was ripped and his fat mobs were showing as well. His face was very puffy and so was his tail. His thighs, his arms, and his legs were also covered with a very thick roll of fat, and best of all, the roo stunk.
He’s like a dragon lying on a hoard of gold, except he’s a giant fat guy lying on a pile of junk food shitting himself.
And then he suffers a heart-attack because someone shows him a job application.
His hair and fur were a mess, and drool ran down his mouth as he stuffed himself full and full of sugary sweets, from cakes to pies and candy and much much more. The roo smiled happily in the dream as he ate and ate and ate without a care in the world. That was the life that the kangaroo wanted to live, it was his dream.
Arbiter, for the love of all that is holy, please move out of your roommate’s apartment before you pursue your dream. You can live in a slob commune or something.
Stop! You're giving him ideas!
“Hey Arbiter, wake up”! The wolf yelled outside of his bedroom, knocking loudly. The kangaroo yawned and rubbed his eyes, getting out of bed.
“Wha… what is it, is it time for lunch”? Arbiters said, still very tired and not knowing were he was, ran right into the door, to which he fell back onto his bed. The wolf came in and saw him lying on the bed, sighed, and said.
"Arbiter you humungous piece of shit, I'm evicting you onto the streets."
Imagine being Wolf and going to work, possibly on double shifts, knowing that your freeloading roommate is sleeping all day. No wonder he’s annoyed at the sight of him lying in bed.
“No, it’s not; you know I’m going on a trip right”? The wolf said, leaning against the wall. Arbiter sprang right up.
“Wait WHAT!!!!!! Your trip is today!!??” Arbiter said in shock and in disbelief, he knew the wolf was going on a trip, but he didn’t know when, and now that he knew, he was in utter disarray.
Holy codependency!
He’s upset that Wolf won’t be around to fill his bubble baths and tuck him in at night and wipe his ass all the time.
“Yes, I told you like 100 times already I’m going to save the rainforest with some of my friends from college.” The wolf said. Arbiter snickered.
“Hey, were going to make a difference you know”. The wolf angrily while the kangaroo just laughed and left the bedroom.
“Yeah sure you are, you’ve told me that a lot of the time, and look were it’s got you”. Arbiter said laughing. It was true. Every time his roommate went out on one of his stupid hippie trips, he either ended up getting arrested or getting beat up, or in most cases, both.
Imagine showing up to a protest, getting your shit kicked in by what's very likely the cops, and then shambling back to your roomate, only for him to find this hilarious.
Arbiter is a real charmer, ain’t he? Note how he didn’t mention what kind of activism Wolf is doing. He could be fistfighting oil tycoons for all we know, but it’s not like Arbiter gives a shit.
“Look whatever, I made some fresh salads in the fridge, and I expect you to eat them all and I expect the house to be perfectly clean when I get back, or else I’m not paying your share of the bills again”. The wolf said, getting his suitcase ready and his other hippie junk.
“Sure sure whatever your majesty”. Arbiter said, totally ignoring what the wolf had said.
Wolf...look at me. This is a furry story. You're a wolf. He's a "pretty skinny" kangaroo. You're full of nutritious meals. Beat his shit in PLEASE.
No wonder Arbiter didn’t realize that his roomie was going on a trip that day! He doesn’t pay attention to a thing he says!
“Fine, I’ll see you in a week ok; have fun on your hippie trip”. Arbiter said, lying down on the couch.
“IT’S NOT A HIPPIE TRIP, WERE SAVING THE RAINFOR- or forget it”. And with that the wolf closed the door.
Wolf sounds like a genuinely nice dude who’s getting fed up. He probably saw that his friend Arbiter had fallen on hard times and tried to help him back on his feet, but learned the hard way that he caused all his own problems. Wolf probably wants to kick him out, but doesn’t want him to live on the streets, so he’s stuck.
You know what furry stories need? Situationships!
“Finally, he’s gone at last”. Arbiter said, sighing and lying back onto the couch. Just then, there was a knock at the door.
“Guess the hippie forgot something, idiot”. The roo said, going to the front door, but instead of the wolf being there, instead was a huge giant wooden crate with a note attached to it.
“Damn, that’s one big package, what that wolf orders online I will never know”. Arbiter said to himself and sighed a bit, but instead of it being for the wolf, it was for him.
"Oh finally, my katana arrived! Now I can eat my hot pockets with glorious nippon steel!"
He’d probably tell you if you asked, but it’s not like you make polite conversation with him or anything!
Upon closer looking at it, the roo found a note on it addressed to him, he read it to himself.
“Dear Arbiter, I’ve been watching you for quite some time now and I know what you are going through. Being forced to eat healthy disgusting foods instead of eating candy and cakes all day by that hippie of a wolf, being forced to keep everything clean including yourself, it disgust’s me. I know that you have always wanted to become a fat, lazy slob. It’s been your dream as long as I can remember. In this box, you will find all sorts of candies, cakes, cookies, and anything sweet and sugary in here. And we’ve added a special ingredient to them that will not only make them taste so much better and drive you into a crazy hunger, but your weight will actually double so you will gain a lot of weight. Oh, and forget about bathing, those days are done for you, keeping clean is such a hassle, you have much better things to do then to clean, like stuffing your face full of sweets. And don’t worry about running out; another crate will come to you as soon as you are done with this one.” Arbiter read to himself, a huge smile appearing on his face.
This contrived plot disgust's me.
Arbiter bought a ton of junk food on Amazon, marked the order as a gift, set it to autodeliver every day, and wrote the note to himself so he could pretend he had a secret admirer.
“My dreams, me, a fat slobbery kangaroo will finally come true”. He said to himself, quickly pulling the package inside. Upon finally opening it up, he was shocked and in utter delight at what he saw. Candy. Mountains and mountains of candy, sugar, cookies, cakes, and pies were all stacked together. It was like heaven, a fat sugary heaven that Arbiter had always dreamed about. The roo stood there for a few moments, drool escaping form his mouth, his just wanted to rush in there and eat and eat and eat and never have to stop.
Not even to go to the bathroom.
Literally, it's a whole thing.
Finally, the suspense got to him and roo jumped into the huge pile of sweets, eating anything that he saw. He scarfed down candy, jamming it into his mouth, he ate a whole cake in one minute, all while crumbs and fillings fell onto his shirt, which was slowing giving way to a huge belly. Day after day this went on, Arbiter just ate and ate, and he got dirtier and dirtier, but he didn’t mind, his only thought was hunger, and all he wanted to do was eat, and nothing would stop him.
Nothing except the autodelivery of junk food declining payment because Wolf’s debit card froze.
And then he starved to death in front of the fridge like a sim.
One week had finally passed since Arbiter’s binge began, and he looked exactly as he did in his dreams. No longer a skinny little roo, he was now an utterly fat roo, whose belly was large and round. His shirt was ripped and his fat mobs were showing as well. His face was very puffy and so was his tail. His thighs, his arms, and his legs were also covered with a very thick rolsl of fat, and best of all, the roo stunk.
Didn’t we see this exact description a few paragraphs ago?
Puffy is not really a descriptor I'd use for a fat face. Go back to fatfur school!
His hair and fur were a mess, and drool ran down his mouth. He was sweating and stinking all over, and his body was covered in crumbs and fillings from pies and cakes. He was still stuffing his mouth down with food, lost in a world of candy and bliss. The old Arbiter was gone now, replaced by a new one, one whose sole purpose was to eat and eat and eat and get as fat as possible, to be the biggest, sloppiest fur in the world. Just then, the door to his bed room opened were the roo was resting at, the bed now covered with candy and sweets, and looking at him was the hippie wolf, whose face was in utter shock and disbelief.
Wolf! He’s too far gone, man! Turn around and go back to the jungle, it’s safer!
"GO BACK TO THE JUNGLE"?! THIS IS A FUCKING FURRY STORY! ALEX ARE YOU TRYING TO GET HIM KILLED?!
“WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE”!!! The wolf screamed out. Arbiter just ate and ate, swallowing a minute before saying,
“Just eating, being as fat as I can”. He said, letting out a huge belch, before chuckling and rubbing his fat belly.
“Do you like what I’ve done with the place, Wolf? I turned the floor into a slip-and-slide. I even finger painted the walls!”
Wait. This is an apartment...Where's the landlord in all this?!
“What… what happened here, why are you so big, why is my house a wreck, and why do you stink”? The wolf said, covering his nose from the smell the roo was releasing. Arbiter chuckled again before getting up off the bed and onto the floor, his fat belly sloshing about from side to side as he struggled to walk.
He shook the ground so much that it registered as a 2.1 on the Richter scale.
You're asking the guy who sits around all day eating junk food why he stinks?
“Ugh, walking is such a chore, the roo said, walking closer to the wolf, who was backing off, why do you have to walk and why do you have to bathe, when you can eat and eat. I’ve never felt so alive before, the roo said, struggling a bit, panting and leaning on the wall, I love being fat and I love being slobbery.
No Arbiter, that's called depression.
He needs to ride an electric scooter through a car wash.
And you, the roo said, grabbing onto the wolf by a touch of luck since he just stopped for a minute, your just not fun at all.” The roo said, licking his lips and drool escaping from his mouth. The wolf tried to escape, but it was no use, he was trapped, and the roo had him in his grasps.
He has Wolf surrounded. He’s blocked all the exits just by standing there.
"I've become every Yo Momma joke at once."
A few minutes later, the roo was lying down on the floor, with a huge bulge in his now gigantic belly. The wolf was struggling inside of there, while the roo moaned on the floor, belched, and rubbed his belly even more.
“Mmmmm, you were so delicious, best meal I’ve had this week, but don’t worry, you’ll be going to a better place, my fat”. The roo said, belching.
Okay, I'm gonna do this one again. For a story that ends in vore, you think there'd be a detailed swallowing scene? You know, he's made his...uh, slobsformation. Shouldn't it be an extremely horrifying, visceral, grotesque, slimy little bastard of a scene? The stench of processed muck permeating the wolf's hypersensitive nostrils? The cavities that this guy's realistically going to have in full view? The tonsiliths? The peristalsis? There's not even peristalsis! Every vore story has some peristalsis! How am I going to masturbate without my- The unduldating stomach walls? The acicic hell of drowning in 8 gallons of Doctor Pepper? You think for a fetish all about being disgusting, you'd get more...being disgusting?
Luckily, Wolf still had his phone. He fumbled through the slime of half-digested candy and pulled it out of his pocket. He called 911 and told the dispatcher he was being held hostage. Moments later, A SWAT team kicked down the door and pointed their rifles at Arbiter. He groaned and dropped the cupcake he had been stuffing down his gullet. “Show me your hands!” screamed the officers. “Where’s the hostages?” “In here!” said Wolf, his voice muffled by Arbiter’s massive fat apron. Arbiter didn’t have the chance to raise his hands before the officers shot him with tranquilizer darts. He was too fat to fit through the door, so the fire department had to cut the wall off the building to get him out. The EMTs crammed him into a double-wide trailer and took him to the hospital for emergency surgery. Wolf was removed from Arbiter’s stomach, traumatized but alive. The nurses whisked him away to the ICU to treat him for acid burns. When Wolf recovered, he pressed charges on Arbiter. Arbiter was found guilty of attempted murder and sentenced to life in prison, where he had to eat Nutraloaf every day.
Oh to see the bodycam footage...