Weed for Dummies

Since the blessed day of January 1st, 2020, the Land of Lincoln has let me smoke one in his name. This guide is for educational purposes and legal cultivation only. Learn your laws and keep within jurisdiction if you think you can grow weed legally. This is your first and only warning, because illegal, untested drugs are bad...m'mkay?

As an Illinoisan, I have the privilege to grow my favourite flower. I first started growing in 2023 and this page is what I would have wanted when I first started out.

Contrary to what Redditors will have you believe, you are not growing a rare orchid that will scream as it dies if the ambient temperature drops below 72 degrees Fahrenheit. You are growing a weed. It has that name for a reason. Good weed is possible to grow too, and you don't need that perfect setup with overpriced Mars Hydro or Spider Farmer grow lights. Grow communities have a macho attitude towards cannabis cultivation in general, which is hilarious because they’re growing flowers that make people act silly.

Growing Cannabis flowers

• Get an inexpensive grow tent, exhaust fan, and carbon filter. Carbon filters are essential if you don’t want your neighbors to smell what you’re growing. This is especially important if you're a renter.
• Get a fan to clip to the ceiling of the tent for airflow.
• Get full spectrum grow lights to hang from the ceiling of your grow tent. Try to avoid the purple ones because they won’t produce enough light. Brand isn’t important.
• Find some 2 to 5 gallon buckets and drill several drainage holes in the bottom. If your grow tent is large, get the big bucket. Plants will grow bigger if grown in larger pots. My tent is very small and fits in the closet, so I use small 2 gallon buckets.
• Get good potting soil and fertilizer. For fertilizer, I’ve had consistently good results with Mega Crop from Greenleaf Nutrients. For soil, I use the Bar Harbor Blend from Coast of Maine, but Happy Frog is also good. If possible, find a bag that’s dry because it will have a lower likelihood of being infested with fungus gnats.

• Get yellow sticky traps to put in the soil in case fungus gnats appear. You will likely need them.
• Mosquito bits are good for killing fungus gnat larvae. Soak them in water overnight and strain them out before watering your plants with it.
• Do not use Neem oil to control pests! It’s been linked to cannabis hyperemesis syndrome, aka making you nauseated and barfy when you’re high.

White label/generic seeds are of questionable quality. Only grow them if you’re either really inexperienced or are planning on turning them into hash or edibles.

Don’t use Miracle Gro. It is not formulated for cannabis and will burn the plants.

Keep your trimmings in the freezer so you can turn it into hash later.

Making Edibles

Making Hash

Dosing properly

Closing Notes