Scooby Doo and the Gang in: "There's Nothing Keen About a Freddy Krueger Dream!" by Mike O'Brien

Out of Their Element
Scooby Doo and the Gang in: "There's Nothing Keen About a Freddy Krueger Dream!"
by Mike O'Brien

One...two...Scooby, where are you?...

It's a lovely day in the town of Springfield. And driving along one of its roads is a psychedelic looking van with flowers all over it and a logo reading "The Mystery Machine". Inside, the occupants discuss their latest plans...

FRED: Wow, Daphne! It sure was nice of your cousin Nancy to invite us to spend a few days at her house.

VELMA: Hey, Fred. Are you sure you know where you're going? I wouldn't want to get lost AGAIN.

FRED: Don't worry. It's the next left, right?

DAPHNE: No...left!

FRED: Right!

VELMA: No...LEFT!!!

FRED: Right, I know...it's...oh never mind!

SHAGGY: Like, I don't know about you guys, but all this driving is making me hungry!

SCOOBY: Reah...hungry!

VELMA: Oh....everything makes you guys hungry. I bet you two even dream about food when you're sleeping, huh?

SHAGGY: Come to think of it....YEAH!

SCOOBY: REAH! Eee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

DAPHNE: Well, we're almost at my cousin Nancy's place now.

SHAGGY: Like, she just better have a fully stocked kitchen or I'm outta here.

FRED: Here's our turn now...Elm Street, right?

VELMA: No....left. Just kidding!

The entire Mystery Machine erupts with laughter as the van turns onto Elm Street. As soon as they do so however, everything seems to change. It's suddenly much brighter...there's an almost ethereal quality to everything. As the gang drives along, they spot some kids playing jump rope, wearing all white. They too seem to almost glow in the bright sunshine. Their movement seems strange as well... as if they are in slow motion. As they jump rope, they start singing.....

One...two, Freddy's comin' for you. Three...four, better lock your door. Five...six, grab a crucifix.....

DAPHNE: Those kids sure look like they're having fun!

SHAGGY: Zoiks! Are you listening to that song they're singing? Creepy! I would hate to meet that Freddy guy.

FRED: Oh come on, Shag! It's just a kid's song. It can't hurt you.

DAPHNE: Yeah...I'm sure there's no such thing as this "Freddy".

As Scooby looks out the window at the children jumping rope, he starts rapidly biting his nails in fear, the pieces flying everywhere like a buzz saw cutting through wood. Finally, the Mystery Machine pulls up to its destination.

FRED: Well, here we are, gang!

DAPHNE: There's my cousin Nancy now! (getting out of the van) Hey, Cousin!

NANCY: Hey, Daphne! It's good you see you...Uh...I see you brought your friends along.

DAPHNE: Yeah, I always bring them along wherever we go. I hope it's okay if they stay here too for the next couple of days.

NANCY: Uh...yeah...I guess. Hope some of you don't mind sleeping on the floor.

SHAGGY: Just let me at the kitchen!

SCOOBY: REAH!!!! Kritchen!

Scooby and Shaggy rush past Nancy in a blur, nearly knocking her over.

NANCY: Yeah....Um, help yourselves.

Nancy proceeds to usher the rest of the gang into the house. She invites them all to make themselves comfortable in the living room, as she and her cousin Daphne talk.

DAPHNE: So Nancy....you never told me why you wanted me to come down here to visit for the weekend. Is everything alright?

NANCY: Well, actually, Daphne, no....everything has not been alright.

Nancy suddenly bursts into tears and sobs all over Daphne's shoulder.

DAPHNE: There, there. You poor thing. What's wrong?

NANCY: Terrible things have been occurring lately. Really weird stuff.

As Nancy starts telling her story, Shaggy's attention diverts from the large hero sandwich he is making so he can listen more closely. Scooby uses the opportunity to place his own tongue on the bread, causing Shaggy to absent mindedly place fixings and condiments directly on Scooby's tongue instead of the bread, which Scooby then gobbles up. Meanwhile, Nancy continues....

NANCY: Kids at school are being murdered!

SHAGGY: Muh...muh....Murdered?!!

NANCY: Yeah. But the weird thing is the way in which they're murdered. They go to sleep and they wake up with horrible, strange, fatal injuries. It's as if they were attacked by someone in their sleep.

VELMA: Jinkies! That's terrible!

NANCY: And I've been having some horrible nightmares lately about some guy with a horribly burnt face and a red and black striped shirt, with a glove on one hand with these sharp knives coming out of it.

SHAGGY: Like, that's all I need to hear! So long folks, I'll send you a post card from whatever town is the farthest away from here I can get!

FRED: Will you relax, Shag? Nobody's going anywhere. Nancy...do you recognize this man in your dreams?

NANCY: No...but I think I heard him call himself Freddy once.

VELMA: Freddy?

FRED: What?

VELMA: Oh...you big joker you! No...I mean this Freddy guy...as in "One two, Freddy's comin' for you. Three four, better lock your door"?

NANCY: *GASP*! Where did you hear that song?!!

SHAGGY: Like, some kids were singing it when we pulled up. I still say that was one creepy song!

NANCY: That's a song we used to sing as kids. Freddy was some monster who was said to attack you in your dreams.

FRED: Then there might be a connection! Gang, it looks like we got another mystery on our hands.

NANCY: Huh? What are you talking about?

VELMA: Don't worry, Nancy. We'll get to the bottom of this whole Freddy thing and solve these murders that have been going on in town.

NANCY: What do you mean, YOU'LL do it? Leave it to the police. My father's the Sheriff.

SHAGGY: Yeah...Nancy has a point there, Fred. We never leave these things to the police.

SCOOBY: Reave it to the tained pwofessionals.

SHAGGY: Right! Anyway, I think we better get going now. Nice meeting you, Nancy!

VELMA: Where do you two think YOU'RE going?

SHAGGY: Who? Us? Uh...Scoob and I just thought we'd go gas up the Mystery Machine...Hopefully at a gas station in Australia!

Suddenly, Scooby Doo is wearing an outfit that looks very similar to that of Crocodile Dundee.

SCOOBY: Put amother rimp on da barbie?

FRED: Like I said before, you guys aren't going anywhere. Not as long as Daphne's cousin needs our help. Now here's the plan....Shaggy, you and Scooby go to the morgue to check out those dead bodies. Meanwhile, Velma, Daphne, and I will go to the library and the Hall of Records to see if we can dig up anything on this Freddy guy. Got it?

SHAGGY: *Gulp*! Did you, like, say... the Morgue?!!

SCOOBY: *Wimper*!, *Wimper*!

DAPHNE: No arguments, you two! Now let's go!

NANCY: Wait! You guys!.....Hello?

Before Nancy's eyes, the gang has disappeared, leaving her alone in the living room. It appears the Scooby Doo gang has a new mystery to solve....A Mystery on Elm Street.

Come on get involved, before Scooby Doo gets mauled

Cautiously, Shaggy and Scooby sneak into the city morgue. Once inside, they come upon a room filled with tables. On top of each table is a dead body in a white shroud....some of them quite bloody. Shag and Scoob shiver in terror.

SHAGGY: Tell you what, Scoob....why don't you check out these bodies while I go scare us up a snack. Sound good, old buddy?

SCOOBY: Nuh, uh! Eren I could rose my mappetite in here!

SHAGGY: Zoiks! Good point. That smell is pretty bad. Yuck!

SCOOBY: Ruck!

SHAGGY: Well....*gulp*....I guess I'll check out the toe tags and you check the cadavers in the drawers, OK?

SCOOBY: *gulp* Ro-kay? *wimper*

As Shaggy reluctantly investigates the bodies under the shrouds, Scooby goes to the big wall of drawers where the other bodies are stored and starts opening them up. As he opens the first one, another opens behind him. Thinking he heard something, Scooby quickly closes the drawer he has opened and turns around. As soon as he does so, the other drawer closes. Scooby opens another. Again, he hears the squeaky sound of a drawer opening behind him, only to close shut right before he can turn around to look. After this goes on a few more times, Scooby's growing fear becomes unbearable, and he leaps into Shaggy's arms, shaking and shivering.

SHAGGY: What's wrong with you Scoob?!! Get off of me, will ya? Hey, take a look at this. This toe tag says this guy was murdered in his sleep. Causes....Zoiks! Unknown.

Scooby proceeds to leap under the table, cowering, and shaking, and placing his paws over his eyes. Suddenly, a hand drops down from beneath the shroud, smacking Scooby in the head. The arm is covered in slash marks, as if from the claws of an animal. Scooby peaks from under his paws to see what has hit him. Seeing the arm, his eyes bug out of his head, and he proceeds to rush from under the table in a blur. He and Shaggy have trouble finding traction as they speed out of the morgue as fast as their legs can carry them. As they leave, Scooby hits his head on a cadaver drawer he has left open. Stars circle his head right before he blacks out into the sweet abyss of unconsciousness....

Scooby awakens in a grassy field on a warm, spring day. A big neon sign is nearby, shaped like an arrow, with the words "Scooby Snacks: This way!" on it. Happily, Scooby follows the sign to a hill. On the top of the hill is another neon sign, pointing down the other side. Scooby clamors up the hill and upon reaching the top, beholds an entire valley filled with nothing but Scooby Snacks for as far as the eye can see. He dives in with glee and starts devouring the landscape, swimming backstrokes in the Scooby Snacks as he does so. Scooby Doo feels as if he is in paradise.

Suddenly, Scooby hears voices behind him. He turns around, and standing on a mound of snacks are his friends...

SHAGGY: Like....gangway! Let me at them yummy treats.

Shaggy takes a nose dive into the Scooby Snacks, but before he lands, a giant, monstrous mouth emerges from the sea of treats, and swallows Shaggy whole. Suddenly, giant claws rake across and run through Fred, Daphne and Velma, leaving them nothing more than bloody corpses. Scooby watches in absolute horror as a figure emerges from behind them....a man in a tattered, black fedora, a red and black striped shirt, with a horribly burnt face, and a glove on one hand with metal spikes attached to each finger, like a claw.

FREDDY KRUEGER: How's about a kiss, sweetie? Would you do it for a....Scooby Snack?!!

Suddenly, the sea of Scooby Snacks are now mixed with an ocean of blood. Freddy then drops below the surface, and re-emerges about 10 times larger. Like a shark, his mouth opens wide to consume Scooby. Now engrossed in mind numbing terror, Scooby frantically swims away as fast as he possibly can, but he seems to be going nowhere. The giant mouth is getting closer and closer. Suddenly, it is upon Scooby, ready to chomp down, when....

.....A splash of cold water hits Scooby in the face. He awakens with a jolt. A look of fear is on his face the likes of which Shaggy has never seen. Scooby even proceeds to turn ghost white. He just sits there, shaking, apparently comatose and in shock.

SHAGGY: Zoiks, Scoob. We better get you outta here!

Now let's see who this ghost really is!

Meanwhile, Velma, Daphne and Fred have been doing some research at the Hall of records, and find something interesting...

VELMA: Check this out, guys!

DAPHNE: You found something, Velma?

VELMA: You bet! According to this, there was this guy named Fred Krueger who was the maintenance man at the local high school until he was murdered about ten years ago.

FRED: Murdered? Gosh, that's terrible!

VELMA: Wait till you hear this. Apparently, he was a serial killer who would rape and murder kids in the school's boiler room.

DAPHNE: Uh...I don't think I want to hear any more of this.

FRED: But wait...there's more! He was finally caught and arrested by the police, but they had to release him on a technicality. Apparently, one of the cops forgot to read him his Miranda Rights.

VELMA: It goes on to say that the parents of the kids were so outraged, they hunted Freddy down and killed him by throwing him into one of the high school boiler room furnaces where he used to take the kids to murder them.

FRED: And this newspaper clipping says that right before he died, Freddy Krueger swore revenge against the parents, saying that he'd come after their children in the one place where they couldn't possibly protect them.

DAPHNE: Ugh! That must be the scariest story I've ever heard. But what do you think Freddy meant by that?

VELMA: Well, you remember what Nancy said....about that guy in her nightmares? And all these murders have been on kids, while they're sleeping.

FRED: So what Freddy meant was that he would attack the kids in the one place their parents couldn't protect them...their dreams!

VELMA: Exactly....or to be more precise, their nightmares!

DAPHNE: This whole thing is giving me the creeps. So what do we do now? How do we catch a ghost who attacks you in your dreams?

FRED: I have a hunch that things aren't quite what they seem here....Let's go find Shag and Scoob!

Fred, Daphne, and Velma return to Nancy's house. Once there, they find Scooby, huddled and shivering uncontrollably on the couch, sipping a cup of hot chicken soup, wrapped up in a blanket, and still white as a sheet.

DAPHNE: What happened to you?!!

SCOOBY: Rrr...rr....RHOST!

FRED: You saw a ghost? Where? What did he look like?

Suddenly, Scooby reaches up, seeming to rearrange his own facial features. When he is done, he has the burnt face of Freddy Krueger. The blanket Scooby is wearing also suddenly transforms into a red and black striped shirt, and he extends his own claws on one paw to simulate the glove he saw.

SCOOBY: Burnt face! Burnt face!

Nancy then walks in to give Scoob another bowl of soup. Upon seeing him, she freezes in shock, dropping the bowl.

SHAGGY: Like, what a waste of a good bowl of soup.

DAPHNE: Nancy, what's wrong? Where did that white streak in your hair come from? I don't remember seeing that before.

NANCY: That man....the one Scooby saw. That's the man in my dreams. Oh my God!!! (Weeps)

VELMA: All the clues lead to one conclusion. The Ghost of Freddy Krueger is the one whose been attacking and killing those kids in their dreams. And THAT'S the man Nancy and Scooby saw.

DAPHNE: So I still have the same question....What do we do to stop him?

FRED: Nancy, do you have any smelling salts in this house?

NANCY: Well...uh...I think we do.

FRED: Good! We'll also need a cargo net, a pair of water skis, an ice maker, a bucket, and a teeter totter. I have a plan that just might work!

NANCY: Huh?

Scooby Dooby Doo....I see you..... Pretending your deeply traumatized. But you're not foolin' me.... Cause I can see... the way you always over-dramatize.

Later that night.....

FRED: Ok...here's the plan. Shag and Scooby will go to sleep and lure Freddy Krueger out of hiding. Once he shows up, you'll grab him. Meanwhile, the rest of us will stay awake and when we see that you are struggling and agitated, we'll use the smelling salts to wake you up. When you wake up, you'll have Freddy in your arms, bringing him into the real world. Then, run away from him and head towards the kitchen door. Once Freddy enters, Daphne will be waiting to throw a bucket over his head. Once he stumbles around blind, he'll slip on the icy floor we created with the ice maker. He'll then fall onto the teeter totter and I'll jump on the other end, sending him flying into the air to land on the water skis. His forward momentum will then push him towards the other end of the kitchen. Once he reaches the other doorway, Velma will cut the string releasing the cargo net and, Bam! We got him! Does everybody understand?

SHAGGY: Uh...I have a major problem with this plan. Basically, Scoob and I are the bait?....AGAIN?

FRED: Yeah! Why? do you have a problem with that?

SHAGGY: Well, like...after what Scoob's been through? He's been deeply traumatized.

SCOOBY: Reah! Raumatized!

Scooby rushes off and comes back with a leather psychiatrist's couch. He proceeds to lay down on it, talking about his mother to Shaggy, who is now magically dressed like Sigmund Freud and pretending to write things down on a pad of paper.

VELMA: Nice try, guys. Tell you what, Scoob. Would you do it for a whole bunch of Scooby Snacks?

Scooby proceeds to turn white again and curls up in the fetal position, shaking and whimpering.

SHAGGY: Zoiks! That dream MUST have been something else! But I'll do it for a whole bunch of Scooby Snacks!

VELMA: It's a deal!

SHAGGY: Come on, Scoob. Time to pay a visit to old Morpheus.

Later that evening, Scooby and Shaggy sit on the couch, watching T.V. Later: With Tom Snyder comes on, and the two quickly nod off....

Shaggy and Scooby find themselves on a walkway, on a dark stormy night. Before them looms a giant, dilapidated looking haunted mansion. A flock of screeching bats flies by. Suddenly, the two are startled by a lone figure who appears out of nowhere. It is Don Knotts, wearing a deputy's uniform.

DON KNOTTS: What the heck are you kids doing here?

SHAGGY: Like....gee Mr. Knotts. What are YOU doing here?

DON: I'm workin' on a case. I'll let you kids tag along if you promise to be quiet!

The three proceed cautiously into the house. Once inside, they find it almost pitch black and filled with cobwebs. Only the lightning from outside occasionally illuminates the house interior.

Suddenly, the three find themselves getting wrapped up in cables, apparently being thrown at them from nowhere. Now the trio is really scared. A couple of dark figures pop out from the shadows. One of them turns on a flashlight. It's Batman and Robin!

BATMAN: False alarm, chum.

ROBIN: Holy shit, Batman. It's our old pals Shaggy and Scooby.

BATMAN: And they've brought a friend. Deputy Barney Fife is it?

DON: Ralph Furley actually, please to meet you two caped crusaders. You know, I know a little Kung Fu myself you know. I probably could've taken you guys. *sniff* Yup...these hands are deadly weapons.

BATMAN: Right. Well, maybe we can work together on this case. Follow us.

The five proceed further into the mansion. While searching around, they run into Sandy Duncan, Mama Cass, Laurel and Hardy, Jonathan Winters, The Three Stooges, Davey Jones, and many others.

SHAGGY: Boy, Scoob. Remind to lay off the weed right before bed time, OK?

Suddenly, the large crowd of celebrities are attacked by some unseen force. One by one they go down, slaughtered in some brutal fashion by invisible weapons. Freddy Krueger then makes his appearance. Mysteriously, the applause of a non-existent studio audience can be heard.

FREDDY KRUEGER: All the stars are here, waitin' for you.....Couldn't have a show without ya!

UNSEEN STUDIO AUDIENCE: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

SCOOBY: How rare you kill the Rark Might....He's my hewo! And I roved Shandy Luncan! I'LL RILL ROU!!!!!!

With unbridled rage, Scooby Doo charges at Freddy Krueger, tackling him and biting him like a dog possessed.

SHAGGY: That's it, Scoob! You got him! Fred! Daphne! Velma! Like, wake us up already!

Shaggy and Scooby suddenly find themselves back in Nancy's living room. The plan seems to have worked so far. Still holding on, Scooby has pulled Freddy Krueger from the dream realm into the real world.

SHAGGY: Like, let go of him already, Scoob! Let's get outta here!

Suddenly realizing what he has done, Scooby let's go of Freddy and rushes towards the kitchen, racing past Shaggy. As they enter, Daphne is waiting with the bucket. Jumping the gun, she accidentally drops it onto Shaggy's head.

SHAGGY: Hey! What gives?!!

DAPHNE: Oh no! I'm sorry Shaggy.

Meanwhile, still running for dear life, Scooby forgets about the icy kitchen floor, and starts slipping uncontrollably. By now, Freddy Krueger has gone around through the dining room to the other side of the kitchen. He sneaks up on and grabs Velma, who is still waiting with the cargo net.

VELMA: Jinkies! Help! Freddy's got me!!!

Scooby, still slipping around on the icy floor, lands on the water skis. His forward momentum sends him flying across the kitchen. Right before Krueger is about to gut Velma with his claw glove, Scooby smashes into him, sending him flying back the other way into the kitchen. Krueger lands on the see-saw, and Fred jumps on it, sending him flying through the air once again. While all this is going on, Daphne is pulling with all her might to remove the bucket from Shaggy's head. She finally succeeds, and in the process, launches it into the air, right into Krueger's current trajectory. The bucket lands on his head, and he lands, hitting the floor head first with a loud thud. The blow instantly knocks him unconscious.

FRED: We did it!

DAPHNE & VELMA: YAY!!!!

SHAGGY: Way to go, Scoob!

SCOOBY: Reah! Eee-Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

Scooby then faints.

Another Mystery Solved

NANCY: I can't believe it...you caught Freddy Krueger! Hey, I brought my Dad. Remember how I told you he was the Sheriff?

NANCY'S DAD: Good work, kids. Nancy told me how you planned on trapping him. That was pretty stupid thing to try and do. But I gotta hand it to you.

VELMA: Now let's find out who this Freddy Krueger guy really is....

Velma proceeds to pull on the face of Freddy Krueger. Sure enough, it is only a Halloween mask. Under the mask is the real Freddy Krueger, unburned and looking quite alive.

FRED: It's Freddy Krueger! So he didn't die in that fire!

VELMA: Nope. I noticed one other thing about that newspaper clipping you found, Fred. It said that Krueger's remains were never found in the furnace....not even a trace. The police just assumed he had been completely incinerated. But there should have been a trace of some kind....bones at least.

SHAGGY: But like, what I don't get is how he attacked people in their dreams, like he said he was gonna do.

FRED: He didn't...he used his own curse which became the Freddy Krueger legend as a cover.

VELMA: Remember that pot you smoked right before bed time, Shag?

SHAGGY: Yeah?

VELMA: Well, I examined it and found traces of an extra hallucinagenic agent in it. That's how Freddy gave people those weird dreams.

NANCY'S DAD: Wait a minute here. Nancy, didn't you say YOU'VE been dreaming about Freddy Krueger lately?

NANCY: Heh...woops.

FRED: Then he'd sneak up on the person while they slept and kill them, pretending like he killed them in their dreams.

DAPHNE: Ingenious! But why do it, Mr. Krueger?

KRUEGER: Why? WHY?!!! Because I'm just a serial killer. It's what I do. I'm insane!!

VELMA: Nice try, Mr. Krueger, but I found out something else when reading through those town records. You also own a life insurance company. And your major competitor is the company whose life insurance policies cover most of the kids in this town. By killing them, you were trying to make your competitor go bankrupt by having to pay out on all those policies. That was your plan all along, wasn't it, Krueger?

KRUEGER: Yes, Yes! I admit! And I would have gotten away with it too if hadn't been for you damn kids and your stupid dog!

NANCY'S DAD: Well, look at the bright side, Kreuger. You're REALLY gonna fry now!

FRED, VELMA, SHAGGY, DAPHNE, NANCY: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

SHAGGY: Hey! Like, check it out. It's Scooby Krueger!

Using Freddy's glove, Scooby proceeds to throw a whole ham into the air, and slices it up into pieces right before it lands in his mouth. With a loud smack, Scooby licks his lips.

SCOOBY: SCOOBY-DOOBY-DOO!!!!!

THE END