bily_bixby_story

BILLY BIXBY, THE WORLD'S GREATEST STUNTMAN

The moment of triumph was nigh as Billy Bixby, World's Greatest Stuntman, approached the edge of the roof of the Empire State Building. The massive crowd looked up at him as he stood near the edge. The people below were too small to see, and instead ap- peared to be a colorful mass of humanity that clumped together to watch Billy Bixby, THE Billy Bixby who was to do the most terri- fying stunt of all time, The Billy Bixby who would go down in history as the man Who Dared, THE Billy Bixby that would dim the name of even Evel Kneviel, the Billy Bixby that would be the idol of millions of americans across the country. Yes, it was a proud day for Billy. Billy took lungful after lungful of the acrid New York air, fil- ling himself with pride, so much that Billy wanted to jump and whoop and jig upon the roof of the World's Tallest Building on the Manhattan skyline. Yes, even Billy Bixby, the World's Greatest Stuntman, could sometimes lose control of the calm, de- tached manner that his profession demanded. Upon seeing him through television screens and binoculars, the crowd burst into a thunderous cheer, so loud that it filled Billy's ears and drowned all other sound, and so lustful was the crowd that their titanious applause lasted for a full ten minutes. Billy drank it all in, raising his arms to show the world that he, yes, he, Billy Bixby, was indeed the World's Greatest Stuntman. Yes! Let the crowd testify! Billy Bixby! Bil- ly Bixby! Billy Bixby! Billy turned his back from the crowd, his red sequined jumpsuit flashing in the noontime sun. The throng of sightseers fell into a hush. Billy Bixby nodded wordlessly to his assistants. Spring- ing into action like clockwork, his uniformed team assembled the harness and attached it to his body, and Billy walked out to the platform attached to the roof. One thousand and twenty three stories below lay bare concrete. No air pad stood between Billy and the bare, hard concrete that lay below. No net stood at ready, waiting for Billy. The crowd stood silent, waiting for Billy to do the deed they had gathered to watch. Billy stood and looked upon the crowd, a sneer curling his lip. With a defiant grunt, Billy reached up with one hand and ripped the harness off, casting it to the side! His assistants made no move. No one, even Billy, looked the sligtest bit concerned. The crowd burst into a deafing roar! Yes! Yes! Billy Bixby, the World's Greatest Stuntman, was about to jump off a one thousand and twenty three story building and plummet through empty air into the ground below, with no visible means of safety! Yes, Bil- ly Bixby was indeed one brave soul! What was Billy Bixby, the World's Greatest Stuntman, up to? What had they missed? What con- cealed device might Billy be carrying? What indeed? Tension broke all possible speed barriers and the crowd drew one collective breath in silence! Three million pairs of eyes were fixed upon him. Did Billy have something hidden on his back? No! Billy turned around. Nothing! Could Billy have something under his jumpsuit? Impossible! The close fitting red suit bore no telltale bulges. Could there be something special about the sidewalk below Billy? No! Just hours ago any passerby could have attested that nothing was doctored in the cement. What devilish trick could Billy have in mind? Billy walked to the edge of the platform and raised his arms. The silence was so intense that time seemed to have stilled and all of New York's attention was focused on Billy. It was now Billy's moment of glory and the moment of truth. Billy raised his arms to the sky, and jumped. Billy fell one thousand and twenty three stories of empty air and hit the hard, cold cement, splattering in a big red puddle of powdered bones and liquified tissue. Then everyone went home.

The End

Derrick